dunno why..it seems so hard for me to get over the death of ahma compared to her. everynight b4 slping.. childhood memories kept occurring in my mind time and time again. and yepp.. seems like ahma just passed away ytd. seems like i just saw her ytd. seems like ytd was the day when i covered the blanket for her. i dunno why. its just so hard to accept the fact. i miss her touch. i miss her smile. i miss her stupidity. i miss her nags.. i long for all these to happen again. though i noe it'll nvr come true. bt still.. i gotta learn to get over this. just like wad you've told me, i gotta look ahead.. and not brood over the past.
last sat during cell. don't know why once i stepped into church office for cell.. tears started welling up in my eyes. had the urge to cry. bt held back lar. kept telling myself that i cannot cry here. cannot cry infront of dem. all i noe i just cant wait for service to start. and yepp, once i stepped into the hall.. tears just dropped unknowingly. quickly wiped it off and controlled. only until when praise and worship. when youthalive sang 'came to my rescue' i just couldnt control no further. cried my heart out. followed by sermon.. ps paul talked bout fire. well.. really hit me alot. altar call was totally great. again.. as expected. cried again. wad a fool i am. keep on crying.. blabla.
and today and ytd's reading period.. read the 40 days purpose book. well.. spoke to me as well. lalala. dats cool alright.
and just read newsweek on the article of ps rick warren VS the atheist: is God real?
and wad ps rick warren says makes sense alot okay.
there's one part when rickwarren mentioned that if atheism is supoosedly the most intellectually honest, why isn't atheism more appealing?
and one more part that wowed me alot is that rickwarren mentioned that both he and the atheist are betting. the atheist is betting his life that he's right while rickwarren is betting his life that Jesus was not a liar. so when they die, if the atheist is right, rickwarren would have lost nothing. bt if rickwarren is right, the atheist will lose everything. rickwarren is just not willing to make that gamble. i think wad ps rickwarren said was totally awesome and it does makes sense..hoheha.
and all i noe now is..
I WANNA HAVE THAT BURNING PASSION FOR GOD ONCE AGAIN.
I WANNA BE FIRED UP FOR HIM AGAIN!
God i thank you for all the wonderful friends you've placed in my life, especially him. regardless of wad've happened to me, they'll always be here for me, encouraging me. and as for him, he's just like an angel sent by you to me, who will always be the one encourage me with his words, whose words will always be the one helping me up.
God i thank you.. in spite of the circumstances that i've met, i know that you'll always be here for me. Thank you God. I dunno wad else i can do other than worshipping you, than giving you thanks, than loving you back. Thank you God for your grace.. that i'll be here. Thank you God for your love, that assured me. Thank you God for your forgiving nature, forgiving me for my sins. Thank you God.
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours, I am yours..
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours, I am yours..
